The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
