I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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