there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
