I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
