he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
