Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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