just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
vagina is talking i cant
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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