Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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