Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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