Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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(541): View more from Oregon

its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.

Fav 10 4732 1384
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(847): View more from Illinois

You did not just nickname me "Nipples".

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(214): View more from Texas

dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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(269): View more from Michigan

its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"

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(763): View more from Minnesota

It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.

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