did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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