Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
