No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Mom said you looked used
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
