I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
