This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
