If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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