His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The air was thick with penises
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
