well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
