Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Bring me that man meat
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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