ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
