Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Welp...herpes.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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