im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize