Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
