You smell like stripper and shame
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
