I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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