Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
