C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
