I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
