After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize