why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
