btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
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Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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