allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Your mouth is God's brothel.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
