im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
