i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize