She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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