Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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