You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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