at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
