gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
