I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
