i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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