Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Congratulations! We have a period
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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