no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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