She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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