Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
