I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
