I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
