like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
