I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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