you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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