So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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