My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
