Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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