OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
