you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
