Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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