We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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