Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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