Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
