the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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