So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
