I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
