It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
