Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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